In the Shadow of Undoing

Who would’ve thought that God would begin an undoing in the back seat of an SUV! Hold up! It is not what you’re thinking, get your mind out of the gutter!   There was a very good reason I was in the back seat of an SUV. Me and three other friends were on our way to a ministry retreat.  We were chatting and catching up on life.  One friend was sharing about a bible study she was in and she quoted Psalm 91:1-2. She then shared something that the teacher said, “You will never have to stand in the shadow of any other woman because you stand in the shadow of The Almighty!”  I felt like someone hit a slow motion button. As I heard the words roll off her tongue and fall down into my heart, tears trickled down my cheeks and my heart felt a bit lighter.

 The undoing had begun!  

My whole life was spent living in the shadow of someone else.  I really didn’t have a good sense of who I was as a person until around 40 years old.  You know how a chameleon can change colors to blend into it’s environment?  That was me.  I was a human chameleon!  I would take on characteristics or mannerisms of my friends.  Now I didn’t realize this.  It wasn’t something I was aware of until years later.  I do remember always feeling self-conscious, nervous, invisible and never felt like anyone heard me as a child.   So, I guess it was more comfortable and simply easier to live in the shadow of others.

That day in the backseat of that SUV was a mile marker in my life.  The Holy Spirit used those words my friend shared to change my life.  The lover of my soul began to peel back layers of lies I had believed for years.  Lies that were whispered into my heart as a little girl.  God started revealing my broken heart.  The tears I shed that day were the first of many that would bring me relief and release.

That day was the beginning of my journey to freedom!  Something inside of me began to rumble.  Something inside of me was being undone in a very real way, it was a pivotal moment in my journey.  One I would not understand the magnitude of until many years later.

Undoing can be a good thing!

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Why, oh Why?

Just love this beautifully transparent & vulnerable!  This is not my post but shared from another blogger

Being Woven


A bruised reed He will not break,
And smoking flax He will not quench;
He will bring forth justice for truth. Isaiah 42:3 (+ Matthew 12:20)

He will tend His flock like a shepherd;
He will gather the lambs in His arms;
He will carry them in His bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young. Isaiah 40:11

He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength. Isaiah 40:21

Jesus cares about me. He loves me more than I can even fathom.  He does not break me.  He gathers me into His arms.  He leads me into the way I should go.  He gives me strength and power.  

YET…I doubt…I worry…I fear…I mistrust.  WHY?  Why do I doubt Him?  Why do I question whether He will provide for me?  Why do I lack the trust to know that He…

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Scattering Seeds in Jesus’ Name

Seeds of love – when we love the unloveable.

Seeds of tolerance – when we tolerate the intolerable.

Seeds of kindness – When we are kind to the unkind.

Seeds of selflessness – when we are selfless to the selfish.

Seeds of forgiveness – when we forgive the unforgivable.

Seeds of patience – when we show  patience towards the impatient.

To love with all you have.

To intercede for those who are your enemies.

To be bold in speaking Gods truth by the power of His Holy Spirit and in the power of love.

To die to self day in day out until Christ only is seen in me.

That’s the pathway of The Cross! Such a high calling!

An Impossible calling; unless we are completely depending on Jesus alone, walking in The Spirit and not fulfilling the desires of our flesh. Depending on His power, in His might. In getting self out of the way. To cooperate in the sanctification process by agreeing with God; not just in salvation of our souls but after salvation, in the transforming of our souls!

Sowing seeds of righteousness in Jesus’ name

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History Doesn’t have to Repeat Itself

Isaiah 43:19~ “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

God gave me this verse several times over the years; through his word, christian radio, in conversations with others and in the books I was reading. It seemed like everywhere I turned this verse was starring me in the face! It wasn’t until a few days ago that He allowed me to understand just how He is going to use this verse to do some pruning, uprooting and cultivating in my family tree.

We’ve all heard the expression, “history repeats itself.” That is not only true in world history but also in our family history. Another truth is that one nation or one person can stop history from repeating itself. God has been revealing some things to me lately in my own family tree that I believe He wants to redeem. I’m just one person, but with the Lord as my Shepherd and His Holy Spirit directing my footsteps I believe I be an instrument of change in the shaping of my family tree for generations to come!

This year I’ve spent some time experiencing God as “Revealer.” Some of the things he has revealed have been joyful, some painful, but all good!  Sometimes in order to move forward we must look back. In the song “Safe” by Natalie Grant are these words: ” I’m not gonna hide, I’m not gonna run away. I’ll uncover the scars and show you every mistake. Your love is mending my blisters and the bruising shame. Here with you I am safe.” In order for God to heal our blisters and bruising shame we must be honest, open and transparent with Him. It is then He will gently begin to reveal & heal us from the inside out! Pain is part of the package but God is right there applying His Word which is like a balm, a healing ointment. He desires for His children to be whole. God is in the redemption business, but it will require our cooperation!

So, as I have looked back at my own family history; God in His love and mercy has revealed and uncovered some things that He wants me to stop, so history doesn’t repeat itself in my grand children’s lives.

When I was first saved an older woman in Christ told me I could start a new legacy with my family. I didn’t have to continue in the legacy left to me by those who went before. We began a new legacy when we accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior and Lord. Yet the legacy doesn’t stop there, part of building that new legacy is taking stock of the past and learning from history in order to not repeat it.

We have to live intentionally not haphazardly in order to create a new family tree. One that is holy and healthy. To leave a legacy for those coming after us. A legacy that is rooted and grounded in God’s love through Christ Jesus.

The first few steps in my journey to wholeness will be difficult ones, but courage as defined by is the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery. Lord help me to be strong & courageous! I’m ready for you to do a “new” thing! I love you My Redeemer!

Click on link below to listen to a great song:

The Redeemer

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Learning to Pray Hard Prayers At the Feet of Jesus

Pray-ButtonHave you ever prayed hard prayers?

Prayers that go beyond, “God bless Charlie” or “God be with Susie.”

Prayers that are developed out of desperate and what seem like impossible situations.  Prayers that are born out of the broken cries of our hearts. Prayers that move beyond the ceiling of our own desires or dreams.  Prayers that are kingdom focused and will live on in eternity.  Prayers that aren’t well…safe prayers?

Prayers that go something like this…

“Dear Lord Jesus, please get ahold of ____________(you insert the name). Disturb their souls to the point that they can’t sleep, eat, party or even enjoy things until they turn back to You Oh Lord.”  Prayers like, “Dear Lord, whisper ___________(you insert name) name in their ear, continue to pursue them with a relentless pursuit of Your love Oh God.”

How about a prayer like, “Dear Father, reveal the hidden sins in me and my family, eradicate the deadly sins that could damage our relationship with you, one another & others. Expose them so that we will fall on our faces in repentance and turn back to You Oh Lord.”

I am talking about hard prayers!

I would say that most of us have never prayed a “hard prayer” in our lives!  Hard prayers begin when we have exhausted our own resources. When we are desperate for God’s hand to move in the lives of our loved ones. Hard prayers are truly prayers of intercession. To intercede in prayer is to pray things for others they can’t possibly pray for themselves. Intercessory prayer is hard work, but it is a “good work”.  Prayer is one of the most important works we are called to do as followers of Christ Jesus.

The Lord will take us through seasons of life.  During my season of being instead of doing, The Holy Spirit has been teaching me how to pray hard things.  Things I would never pray on my own.  There were things and situations that brought me to a place of sheer desperation which led to a devotion and determination to follow and pray in accordance with God’s will!   Many of those prayers literally made me gasp for air after I have said them out-loud to the Father.  Ones that for this Momma of four children & Nae Nae to five grandchildren are a bit scary to pray.  I say they are scary because of the One to Whom my prayers are directed. The Lord Strong and Mighty, the Creator and Keeper of All living things. The God of heaven and earth. God, who is Sovereign over ALL the Universe.  We are to come into His presence with fear and trembling, not because He is waiting to punish us but because He is Holy, Righteous and the Judge of ALL the earth. That should be enough to cause us to fall on our faces before Him in Awe and wonder. We pray to the One not only hears us but will also act!

If your prayer life is boring, lifeless &  weak. Maybe it’s because your prayers are hitting the ceiling of your own hopes, dreams and desires. Maybe they are just too safe? Why not, ask God to give you a new perspective on prayer.

God bless you as you endeavor to grow closer to the Lord through His Word and through praying hard and not such safe prayers at the feet of Jesus.

Psalm 91, In the Shadow of the Almighty,


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Lessons in Humility

Lessons From John the Baptist

From Matthew Chapter 3, Mark 1:3-8
Luke 3:2-17, John 1:6-28
God impressed upon my heart a desire to go back to the basics and see for myself how Jesus ministered and taught his disciples to minister to those around them. It’s easy to get our eyes on others, to be bound by traditions of men, religion, etc. and miss JESUS in the middle of it all. While slowly, prayerfully, and methodically going through the gospel of Matthew, God wouldn’t let me get past Chapter 3. I was captivated, challenged and convicted by John the Baptist’s call, courage, and commitment to Christ. The word humility kept coming to mind. A much needed quality that is so lacking in business, society, the church, and sadly to say in many Christian homes.
Listen to Isaiah’s prophecy Chapter 40:3 – “A voice is calling, clear the way for the LORD in the wilderness, make smooth in the desert a highway for our God”. John the Baptist was that voice calling out in the wilderness. John was the baby boy in Elizabeth’s womb that leapt within her when she spoke with the mother of Jesus, and she was immediately filled with the holy spirit. John knew who he was, why he was here, what his purpose was…talk about the purpose driven life!

More importantly, John knew who Jesus was. In the gospels John sees Jesus coming to be baptized and says “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world”.” John was a man with a mission and a message. His mission, to point others to Christ; his message, “Repent, the kingdom of heaven is at hand. The simplicity and humility of his mission and message are so refreshing. John a man with no seminary degree, PhD, or masters was commissioned by God Almighty to point others to Jesus “His Beloved Son in whom He is well pleased”.
John, who wore a camel’s hair garment with a strap of leather around his waist, who ate locust and wild honey, who lived outside of the city in the wilderness? Not a very likely candidate for such a task in mans eyes. I love how God works. He most often chooses the “ordinary” to perform the “extraordinary”. I wonder how many churches would allow someone with John’s appearance to stand in the pulpit and preach the same message today? How about your church?

John’s life is a picture of what a true servant leader should be. He always pointed others to the coming Christ. He didn’t think more highly of himself than he should have. When the people came to him to be baptized in the Jordan River after repenting of their sins, John made sure they knew who could forgive and cleanse them from their sin, “As for me, I baptize you with water for repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, and I am not fit to remove His sandals; He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire“. Never once did he want others to look to him, only Christ. What humility!

John the Baptist baptized our Lord and Savior, how humbling that must have been. He did it out of obedience to the Lord. When Jesus began his earthly ministry John’s disciples left him and followed Jesus. You don’t see a streak of jealousy, pride or an arrogant spirit. John said, “I must decrease, He must increase”. He humbly and gracefully let go. His mission was complete. His message had been delivered. Jesus had come to seek and save the lost.
Ask yourself these questions: Do I truly know who I am in Christ? Do I recognize who I am not? Do I know why I am here? Do I know my purpose and am I living it out in Christ, daily? Would those whom I come in contact with describe me as a woman of humility and grace? Ouch!!! Am I willing to decrease so He may increase? What am I doing today for God‘s Kingdom?
More importantly do I know Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior? If we are in Christ we also have a mission and a message, we need to get busy “the kingdom of heaven is at hand”

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Choose To Go Low

After being still & quiet listening to the Word of God from the book of Genesis; I saw a vast difference in the lives of those who chose for themselves (Lot) and those who let God choose (Abraham).

I also saw a great difference between those who chose to “make a name for themselves” as well as “build a city to themselves” compared to those God himself chose to make their name great.

Something to think about – God doesn’t share His glory nor does He share His praise! It is all due to His Great name! It ALL belongs to Him and is from Him!

Going low beats going high every time! Humility must win if we are going to follow hard after Jesus, if we desire to please Him.

In an American “Christian” environment where platforms & platitudes of “look at me, look at us, hear me, see what I am doing for the Lord”, where everything “done for Jesus” is posted all over social media – it just makes me stop and ask myself, is this where we want our reward? It is too easy to get caught up in US.

Is it enough that Jesus sees?
Is our satisfaction found in Him?
Is it enough to know that God knows.

Yes! It is more than enough!

Please don’t think I am bashing platform ministry, no not at all, after all, I desire to write & to have my stuff read so a platform of some form is part of that call. I am just thinking out loud…. God’s Word should confirm, challenge, convict & commend us. His Word makes me think.

Are we going low and allowing God to choose for us? Or, are we busy choosing for ourselves & making a great name for ourselves?

Lord search our hearts. Help us to build altars to Your great name! Help us to as Jen Wilkins says to, “go low”. To always lift you high.

Dear Abba, Forgive us when we get caught up in ourselves, our plans, our kingdoms, our buildings, our message, our methods! Even our ministry…

In Jesus name Amen!

Renee Psalm 92:1-2

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