Who would’ve thought that God would begin an undoing in the back seat of an SUV! Hold up! It is not what you’re thinking, get your mind out of the gutter! There was a very good reason I was in the back seat of an SUV. Me and three other friends were on our way to a ministry retreat. We were chatting and catching up on life. One friend was sharing about a bible study she was in and she quoted Psalm 91:1-2. She then shared something that the teacher said, “You will never have to stand in the shadow of any other woman because you stand in the shadow of The Almighty!” I felt like someone hit a slow motion button. As I heard the words roll off her tongue and fall down into my heart, tears trickled down my cheeks and my heart felt a bit lighter.
The undoing had begun!
My whole life was spent living in the shadow of someone else. I really didn’t have a good sense of who I was as a person until around 40 years old. You know how a chameleon can change colors to blend into it’s environment? That was me. I was a human chameleon! I would take on characteristics or mannerisms of my friends. Now I didn’t realize this. It wasn’t something I was aware of until years later. I do remember always feeling self-conscious, nervous, invisible and never felt like anyone heard me as a child. So, I guess it was more comfortable and simply easier to live in the shadow of others.
That day in the backseat of that SUV was a mile marker in my life. The Holy Spirit used those words my friend shared to change my life. The lover of my soul began to peel back layers of lies I had believed for years. Lies that were whispered into my heart as a little girl. God started revealing my broken heart. The tears I shed that day were the first of many that would bring me relief and release.
That day was the beginning of my journey to freedom! Something inside of me began to rumble. Something inside of me was being undone in a very real way, it was a pivotal moment in my journey. One I would not understand the magnitude of until many years later.
Undoing can be a good thing!